the "iwantabf" feeling...
...inspired by my(or "a", to be fair) best best best friend alice.
First off, the "iwantabf" feeling should not be confused with the "I want a boyfriend" feeling, nor with the "I am a hopeless romantic and want love" feeling.
I've had the iwantabf feeling many times before, but didn't have a name to put to it until I got a text on Christmas Eve. It went something along the lines of "i'm getting that iwantabf feeling again...but i know i really don't want a boyfriend. so so lame."
You see, I don't actually want to get romantically involved. I don't want to lose my mind and become really annoying (because I'm already annoying enough), and I don't want to have to deal with my parents about it. My friend continued on to say that she didn't want a boyfriend; she just wanted to have a guy to hug.
How simple and true is that? I love my family and my friends, but a boyfriend just gives you a different kind of love. It's like halfway between best friend and true love. ahhh okay now I'm leaning towards "I am a hopeless romantic and want love." Usually I fall into that category when I go to ponandzi.com or watch Secret again. DARN IT. I HATE IMAGINARY NICE PEOPLE.
Anyway, the iwantabf feeling is really annoying. It usually comes up when all of your friends have the "I want a boyfriend" feeling, but you know you're more sensible than that. And then it comes up at parties when everyone is talking about their love lives and you sit there with a nonexistent one...
The iwantabf feeling also makes it very difficult to focus on the things I want to focus on, like making positive change around me and becoming less of a pig. I can feel myself increasing in volume. I CAN FEEL IT.
now this is just becoming a complaint. dang it. and i want more food. and i dont want to get fat. and i wantabf. but i dont want a boyfriend. and i am a hopeless romantic. but i dont want to be. and i want to change the world! but i dont want to leave my chair.
i am just full of contradictions and chocolate.
